The Two Commandments
What would a Men's Room Bible without Commandments? Well, given what we have so far (which admittedly isn't much) I think it goes without saying that the first two commandments of the Men's Room is:
1. Thou shalt not urinate immediately next to another man.
2. Thou shalt not draw attention to thineself
This Men's Room Bible is in the making, so we reserve the right to modify the commandments, yadda, yadda, yadda. You know - the same disclaimers that Moses used.
6 comments:
this cracked me up i loved it lol!
Whilst I am female and not really an authority on the subject...should "thou shalt not make ooohh-ing and arrhhhh-ing, or indeed any coo-ing whilst urinating" be on the list?!
Also "thou shalt never use the urinals after eating asparagus for fear of stinking out thine brothers"!!!
Very amusing blog - thanks for this! :-)
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Marty, I think you've missed one of the important commandments: Never speak to somebody while they are peeing.
Now granted, you happen to walk into a bathroom with someone you know (always by chance, as men NEVER go in packs to the bathroom), there is bound to be some banter back and forth.
But, once you approach the urinal, talking should cease, and the business at hand (no pun intended) should take precedence.
Laterz.
AH
When there is a long line of urinals, and someone takes the "next to last" one, I always take the last one.
If they take the last one, then I try to stay as far away as possible, but if they take the one before the end, then they're like people who take up two parking spaces. I park as close to their car as I possibly can.
I am unsure of many of these 'laws'.
Firstly, talking, most places that I frequent where i have to use a urinal, i have been drinking. This makes me very, yes very amusing, i think i should share my wit and bonhomie with the world.
Secondly, 'drawing attention to oneself'... Well hands in back pocket pissing is quite severe, but the relaease of a loud fart in the mens shitters - PURE CLASS, where better to share it? When walking past you and your lady in the bar? When walking oer to the jukebox? No it is best done in the room that is made for it.
Lastly, has anyone ever pissed like a school boy. It is best done when noone else is around and when you and your chums are drunk as skunks. To piss (or you will be fined more booze) you must drop trousers and boxers round the ankles and then proceed. It works best if wearing a suit and tie. Would you belive it, this is the way many full grown men in Japan piss, crazy people, crazy world, excellent blog space.
Adios Andy
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