Look, No Hands!

There is a gentleman at my office who I have taken note of for one reason and one reason only: his bathroom behavior. Every time I see this gentleman in the restroom, he draws my attention - an absolute no-no for the men's room.

This man walks up to the urinal, undoes his belt, and undoes his pants such that no hands are necessary for him to perform the task at hand. He then sticks his hands in his back pockets, and without fail, loudly releases some pent up gas before completing his task. The "hands in back pockets" position is unusual enough. The monster fart puts him over the top.

As far as I know, men's room etiquette dictates that there is one and only one acceptable position for urinating:


The standard urinating position, as pictured, means arms at sides, elbows in (to maximize the space between yourself and neighbors), face forward (or down, I believe both are acceptable), hands near your equipment. If you are proud of the fact that you can pee without using your hands, good for you. Keep them near the action so you can get away from the urinal as quickly as possible when done.

The hands in back pockets position...


...is totally unacceptable. For one, you're drawing attention to yourself. It's hard enough for men to use the restroom without looking at anyone else. Who wants some idiot to be showboating? Secondly, take note of the horizontal space occupied by a urinator in this position. WAY too close to the other urinals. Keep those elbows in!

As for the farting? Personally, I think if you're going to let one rip like that, you have to hit a stall.

What do you think? Are other urinal positions acceptable? Should the sounds of gas be strictly limited to the confines of a stall? Share your opinions!